Spiritual Dialogue Into God

Question:  I have this deep desire to realize life and want to know what life is.

 

Adonis:  First, what do you mean by deep desires?

 

Question:  I just feel exhilarated and full of life.  How do you define desire?

 

Adonis:  To feel for, to want, to long for, to crave, to lust.  A deep longing for fulfillment.

 

Question:   No, all that has nothing to do with the happiness I have attained.

 

Adonis:  Why not?  Perhaps you are using the wrong words to express yourself.

 

Question:  I am just fulfilled with the way my life, my awakening is heading.

 

Adonis:   Where is it heading?  Do you know where it is going?

 

Question:  Things are going in the right direction.  I go with the flow.  I stay focused and everything works on its own, effortlessly.

 

Adonis:  If it is going somewhere, then that creates distance, if there is distance then there is time.  If there is time, then it cannot lead to the timeless.

 

Question:  There is no distance, just radiance.

 

Adonis:  The self is a movement of becoming.   So this radiance is a state of being when the self is absent.   Is that what you are saying? 

 

Question:  I think so.

 

Adonis:   Tell me; go into this with me so you may understand.

 

Question:  Radiance is not a state of being, correct?

 

Adonis:  I am asking you.  Let us go into this slowly.

 

Question:  Explain, is the self a movement of becoming?

Adonis:  Is radiance of the self?  Is it self-propelled?  I am asking you.  We are going into it now, slowly.  Let us just observe.

 

Question:  O.k.

 

Adonis:  Go into this with me.

 

Question:  I am not sure of what I am feeling.  I do not know, but it feels like it is sacred.

 

Adonis:  The self, desires to move from unhappiness to happiness.  This means there is the desire to move from, ‘that which is,’ to that, ‘which is not.’  Wanting to be happy is a denial of being happy.  It is a clever movement of becoming and projecting.  The self can never be.  It is always becoming.  Never still.  That which is sacred is free and changeless.  To understand this is to see the absence of oneself is ones greatest concern. 

 

Question:  I see.

 

Adonis:  So, let us take a journey into this and see for ourselves.  Perhaps, we can uncover the truth or falseness of this.  Observe it now with me.  Let us look into it slowly.

 

Question:   That makes sense.

 

Adonis:  Look, when sad we desire to work on becoming not sad.  It is always in a movement of becoming.  The self is forever restlessness.

 

Question:  When you say the self can never be; do you mean be part of the sacred energy?

 

Adonis:  How can it be sacred when it is in constant change?  It can never enter the sacred; it is trapped in time and becoming, never being.

 

Question:  So what I feel isn’t sacred?

 

Adonis:  For now, I must deny anything and everything as sacred all together because I am trapped in myself.  You know, my problems, my desires, my fears.  Do you understand?

 

Question:  Yes.

 

Adonis:  Now let us walk slowly into this.

 

Question:  But you are aware of the sacred existence?

 

Adonis:  No, the self can never know.  Now let us go slowly. 

 

Question:  Do you mean to know the real spiritual essence?

 

Adonis:  Forget about spiritual essence.  What do you really know about that, you are the restless self?

 

Question:  Because the self is blocking the sacred?

 

Adonis:  I am the self and all its content.  The darkness, the fear, suffering, pain, pleasure and sex.  That is all I know.  These are all the facts of my life.

 

Question:  The self is blocking the sacred, right?

 

Adonis:  Blocking what?  Drop all that for now and take it slower, one step at a time.  If we are going to walk into all this, let us walk but please do not wobble.  For the time being, lay down all that you think you know.  Now let us forget about all ideas of there being anything beyond the self.

 

Question:  In order for us to dissolve this self, we will automatically be enveloped in this sacred energy?   You cannot avoid this question!

 

Adonis:   We are new at this as if this is our first discussion.  Drop everything so that we may see for ourselves, here and now.

 

Question:  No!

 

Adonis:  I do not want to miss anything.

 

Question:  O.k., now I understand that.

 

Adonis:  So we must start now anew, without any ideas, theories, or concepts.  Do you understand?

 

Question:  Yes, go ahead.

Adonis:  So I must drop all that I have been told and begin the journey anew.  Forgetting about all that I have been told about spirituality.  So I ask you, where do we begin?

 

Question:  Move on.

 

Adonis:  Where?

 

Question:  By observing the self in quietude.

 

Adonis:  I want to start with the facts, yes?

 

Question:  That is correct.

 

Adonis:  I am your friend and I come to you and I ask, is there something truly sacred beyond this life?  I really want to know and not have opinions, beliefs or theories of any kind.  Not your opinion or religious beliefs, I want to taste the sacred, if there is such a thing, for myself.  What am I to do?

 

Therefore, if you are at all interested and curious we may inquire deeper into this.  Understand that we are only pointing.  Never from a point of, ‘I know.’ 

Question:  I see.

 

Adonis:  So, what are we to do?  Where do we start? 

 

Question:  I will point you to yourself, right?

 

Adonis:  How will you help me?

 

Question:  I would say that you would have to find that out for yourself by becoming aware of the self, I think.  I am not sure.

 

Adonis:  It is all right not to be sure.  That is why we are going into this now.  There is no certainty, we are finding out now, together.

 

As a fellow human being who is deeply interested in all this I am just asking, where will we start?  Perhaps, the beginning is the end.  Go into this, discuss it with me.

 

Question:  By becoming aware of ourselves, our actions, thoughts and feelings, yes?

 

Adonis:  I do not know what you mean.  Help me to understand.

 

Question:  By going into silence and allowing the flow of perception.

 

Adonis:  I do not understand all that silence and perception stuff, explain it to me.  That is all a bunch of words, I do not understand.  What will you do to help me?  I am lost.  How will you help me?

 

Question:  You have to help yourself.

 

Adonis:  That means nothing, just empty words.  I am your friend, help me to understand myself.  What am I to do?  I want to see beyond this life.  Perhaps this is all there is to life.  So tell me, what am I to do?

 

Question:  I don't know.

 

Adonis:  That is all I am saying.  You do not know, that is a fact, correct?  To see clearly that you do not know is a movement into the unknown.

 

Question:  Right.

 

Adonis:  So the first thing we will need in order to truly walk into this, is a common point of reference so that we do not start with an idea and end in an idea or belief.  I want to taste the truth for myself, if there is such a thing.  Now I am asking, what is the common ground in which we may inquire into this?

 

Question:  I am listening.

 

Adonis:  No, you must go into this with me.  Do not censor yourself.  Go into it.  I am asking you, how would you begin?  To see the fact that our mind is constantly making noise, the common point of reference, must be thought.  Because we all think and use thought, that would be a good place to start, do you think?

 

Question:  I would say begin right where we are.  In the present moment.  Start being conscious and aware of all our movements and thoughts.

 

Adonis:  What exactly does that mean?  I do not understand.

 

Question:  In silence.

 

Adonis:  I do not know anything about all this silent business you are saying.  What does it mean, actually?  How do I go into silence when in fact I am full of thoughts and occupied with all this noise going on inside of me?

 

Question:  Quiet your thoughts, actions, sit alone.  Become aware of how you are feeling.

 

Adonis:  I still do not understand.  That is just words.  Please help me.  Please go into this with me.

 

Question:  I do not have the same flexibility to express myself as you do.

 

Adonis: Look, I am a worldly human being.  You are talking nonsense to me.  Let us say Adonis, the one who points, is not here.  I am John Doe.  I do not know anything about spirituality.

 

Question:  I do not know how to probe.

 

Adonis:  Use your whole head and heart to probe into this.

 

Question:  It does not mean that I do not know, but it is a little difficult for me to put in words.

 

Adonis:  Just go into it.

 

Question:  I just need to broaden my vocabulary.

 

Adonis:  Are you sure that is why?  On the other hand, is it you have not taken in the fact that you do not know.  To say you do not know is one thing, to realize that fact of not knowing is a very different thing all together.  Now, let us go into it.  We are simply inquiring.  Where would you begin?  Do not assume I understand anything.   Start from the beginning.

 

Question:  I understand, but I am blank.

 

Adonis:  Help me.  Where would I begin, tell me?  Should I start with thought?  Do you see this or am I telling it to you?  Do not come to me for information.  Truth is not found in knowledge.  So, the moment I truly see this, I am no longer seeking in knowledge, right?

 

Question:  Yes

Adonis:  I am asking, I really do not know.  I am asking, is it with my thoughts, is that where I should start, factually?

 

Question:  No.

 

Adonis:  Help me.

 

Question:  Not with thought.

 

Adonis:  Why not?

 

Question:  Thought is part of the self.

 

Adonis:   The self is thought.  Do you see that for yourself or are you just repeating what I say? 

 

You are still assuming I understand anything beyond myself, which is the unknown.  So obviously, the self, does not know the unknown.  That is simple.

 

Question:  May I ask, is thought what blocks us of the spiritual energy?

Adonis:  Listen, you are jumping way to fast for me.  Start from the beginning.  To go into this, I must drop all that I know. 

 

Question:  I do not understand.

 

Adonis:  If we do not start with thought, then with what shall we start?  I want facts.  You are clinging to all that you know and then I come along and say, can you cling to truth?  So, if you cannot know the truth, then what is all that baggage that you think is sacred that you think you know and have?  Do you see this?

 

Question:  It is good that you are doing this, because it puts me to think.

 

Adonis:  So, where should we start?

 

Question:  I do not know, well I do know, but I am uncertain, therefore, I am not thinking clearly, I am not making excuses.

 

Adonis:  To understand oneself requires great honesty with oneself.  Now I am asking you, is it a logical thing to start with thought because with thought, we have a common view, a factual base to start.

Question:  So, that is what you would say, thought?  What do you mean when you say common view?

 

Adonis:  Not what I would say, what do you think?

 

I am referring to a common point of communication, meaning a factual position in which we both may start our inquiry.  Where we can start from the beginning in facts.  I am not pestering you; I just want to be clear.  Should we start with thought?

 

Question:  I guess.

 

Adonis:  Do not guess; look into it so that you may find out.

 

Question:  It is just I am not very good at inquiry.

 

Adonis:  If you are not good at inquiry then how will you learn?  Surely, the doing is the learning, right?  Now, if we start with facts we will end in facts as long as we do not venture off.  Therefore, we must not start out with non-facts and abstractions, which lead nowhere.

 

Question:  Yes, that sounds about right.

 

Adonis:  As human beings we all think, irrespectively of what and how we think.

 

Question:  I do not want to waste your time, but I am not very alert now, I want to have this conversation again when I am alert.

 

Adonis:  You are not wasting my time.  To go into this you must face yourself.  It takes more than courage and perseverance to see into this.

 

Question:  Right now, everything is in the mix for me, I am not focused.  This pointing stuff is interesting but difficult.

 

Adonis:  Then be unfocused.  Start from that fact by simply watching.  Simply let that witnessing, which is devoid of conclusion, watch and listen to what is within and around you.

 

Question:  Have you noticed the more enlightenment…

 

Adonis:  There is no such thing as more enlightenment.  Do not measure.  There is no measurement and no calculation.  To know oneself you must not be concerned of what Plato, Socrates or  Jean-Paul Sartre has said.  It is up to you to simply forget about what the philosophers have said.  Ones self knows nothing about awakening and enlightenment, which is all meaningless.  You must look into the essence of life for yourself which leads to self-knowledge.  Spiritual fulfillment comes when you drop all knowledge of a separate self.  When at once you are free within, then you may discover whether or not there is such a thing as enlightenment.

SPIRITUAL TEACHER ADONIS ALEXANDER
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