Question: Suppose I had a son and he came up to me and asked me how he can discover the truth, that there's something more than what meets the physical eye, how would I point this out to him? This question stays on my mind. What would I say? What would I tell someone who comes to me for such answers?
Adonis: First find out for yourself what is Truth. Do not concern yourself with another for now. After all, if you are not awake how can you awaken another? You must cross over to the furthest shore, and then you may point this out to others. Actually, you may discover there is no one to teach anything.
The self is the perceiver, which prevents perception. When 'you' are there perceiving, perception is not. It is here, within your own consciousness, you must place your energy in discovering the truth of this life before concerning yourself with others. Why have fears or anxiety about expressing? The words will come of their own accord when there is clarity within you.
Do not think anyone can possibly explain the timeless at all. I can only point you to the door. It is up to you to go beyond the doorway of the timeless. Focus on your own development, not how to point this to others. The pointing will come without effort. You must first find your way out of the darkness. Or else, like the religions of the world, it would be the blind leading the blind.
Question: What do you mean first discover the truth of life, the real essence of perception and evolution in which words cannot explain? After the discovery is in full view and the self being dropped, you are then fully aware. Are you saying that then the selection of words will fall into place without effort?
Adonis: Why do you use the word 'evolution,' it implies time. We are going to take the shortcut and use no time. In perception without the perceiver, there is no time-space. If there is the perceiver then there is time and space because of the division between the perceiver and that, which is perceived. The perceiver is of time because it is made of the past. Because it is composed of past experiences, desires, fears and memories. There is space because there is division from you to the perceived, inward or outward.
Question: Sometimes, this seems rather confusing to understand. I do not have fear as far as changing because I understand the need to change. However, how can I change without using effort?
Adonis: There is nothing to be confused about because there is nothing for you to do. If you are trying to differentiate then it is the 'self,' wanting to react in a particular way which gives rise to confusion. Perception does not decide anything; it simply acts, because it is complete action. That is the beauty of it. There is actually nothing for 'you' to do. This witnessing that is going on within, burns 'me' away. There is only the witnessing that remains and that is the great secret in which words cannot touch or describe.
Why do you say, 'I don’t have fear?' Is that a fact? It is up to you to find the truth of this for yourself. What I am saying is to let perception act. I would never tell you not to think because then you will try to use thought to force the mind not to think, which is also a continuity of thought. What I am saying is just listen and observe your thoughts and perceptions, which is all seeing that dissolves the thoughts, feelings and images of the mind.
I may use a multitude of words and all I am basically saying over and over again is, end the self which is a false entity created by the minds identification with the body and mind through perception, then the real awakens. This is all I am saying. The thing is if you do not end the self, then there is the continuity of darkness and confusion. The timeless comes only when you end all movement.
Question: What about romance?
Adonis: What about it? As far as romance, that is something that is a part of this life. We must focus on awakening primarily, which also includes the problems of romance. Once you awaken then you will discover what direction your personal or impersonal life is to take. You will find out what place romance has in your life when you discover who you are.
Question: I see. Very well said. Therefore, it is ones ‘self’ that prevents the ‘Truth’ from being revealed within you. It makes a lot of sense if you are willing to look into this. It is, as if we are in prison when dealing with the self, we are so confined and limited.
Adonis: The self is the prisoner and the prison of its own making. The self creates the problem, gets tangled into the darkness of its own making and now it does not know the way out. You must look at the prison, the chaos, the confusion, the disorder within one self and your relationship with others. Only then, the very perception of the darkness has the full power to dissolve and solve all our problems. Why does perception dissolve the self, the ego? Simply because the lack of perception, which is ignorance, formed this division within you and this chaotic world as we know it. Now to be free of this duality and division, the essence of perception must end the appearance of illusion. Therefore, when you are empty of the self, the formless may enter your being and that is the realization.
Question: You are truly a medium between the physical and the sacred therefore, you are teaching the world and me to apply the Sayings to our lives. I know that I am my own teacher, but we always need someone physical, with an awakened mind to give us the support we are looking for. Although, you say we are all capable; but to us, we have different levels of understanding.
I do not want to lose you, the more you awaken this knowledge in me, the closer I get to you. You are my mentor and my guardian in the physical form, so please do not leave me. I have so much more to learn and awaken and I feel in my heart that you are my teacher, the chosen one. But I will tell you I am afraid of falling in love with you that's the reason why I built a wall between you and me because I don't want this sacred relationship between us to be disturbed by any physical emotions, do you understand?
Adonis: It is truly wise and intelligent to look into the horror of this world and what we have made of it. That is my deepest interest. To simply point into this life, so that you may be free to live in abundance and happiness. It is to discover that spirituality comes into being when you simply observe the facts of your life. It is to uncover what is there in which you do not see. Spirituality is non-developmental; there is nothing for you to do or become. To see the truth of this is to be your own teacher. That is the secret of the sacred. Simultaneously, be the teacher and pupil. I am not telling or repeating what the so-called Zen masters say. I see the meaning of all this very clearly. You must be the master and disciple, so that you may see for yourself, which is the important factor.
Question: What do you mean by spirituality is non-development?
Adonis: Of course, spirituality is non-developmental. Actually, it is a process of unlearning and ending the desire of becoming. It is the art of being what you are and living ones life, effortlessly. There is nothing for you to become. See life, 'as is,' without distortion and delusion. The fullness of perception drops all ideas and ideals. Throw away the image of what the mind thinks truth is. The self does not know and it can never know. Let go and all is clear. There is no accumulation of knowledge and experience when there is the fullness of perception. Truth is beyond experiences, knowledge, ideals and concepts.
Question: What do you mean by it's a process of unlearning and ending the desire to become?
Adonis: The self is a movement of distortion in the realm of becoming. Truth is neither a state nor non-state of mind with its endless movement of becoming. Creation is infinite potentiality. The awakening that I speak of is to realize what you truly are. It is to see life, 'as is.'
Question: Yes, I agree and I am fully aware that life needs to be seen ‘as is’ without distortion or confusion. The funny thing is the battle that we humans have in the physical form is trying to throw away the image of what the mind thinks is truth.
Adonis: It is really rather simple. Spirituality awakens when we see through the false by seeing the false for what it is. By seeing the false as false, the real, is revealed within you.
Question: Many times I am fully tuned in with my perceptions when all of a sudden the self interferes and tries to make me see and feel otherwise, why does this happen?
Adonis: We want to direct, control and censor life according to our ideas, indoctrination and conditioning. There is the fullness of perception when you are devoid of selfish interference, which is the movement of your self-centered actions.
Question: What do you mean when you say that awareness is devoid of you and your interference? Would you say by being aware of the madness, hurt and anger, are not we being aware of our actions and then becoming conscious of how to correct ourselves without suppressing it?
Adonis: The purity of perception is devoid of you and your interference. This effortless perception that I speak of is a living flame. It has the power to burn away all false things. The self cannot grasp this perception. When the self is consciously there, perception is not. Do you see the beauty of it? Understand that it is pure grace. There is nothing for 'you' to do. The illusion of self-will is completely burnt away. The will of the self is false. That which is beyond the self is truth and whole. That which is beyond the will of the self, acts holistically never partially. When truth acts, all is holy.
Please understand me when I say 'you' are the conscious divided self. Let go by realizing what the fact of your involvement is. Get out of the way by seeing you are the cause of all your problems. You must enter death, not theoretically, but actually. The self vanquishes and not a single crumb or its ashes remain. Every single scrap of the self must go! Every inch of you must die in which nothing remains. However, you want to remain, you want to stay. Therefore, I have to continue pointing until this is realized fully within you.
Question: The other day you said that when I am mad, just let it take place but watch it so that I do not suppress it. Now, by just simply allowing this anger to just be, in quietude will the state of my mind just fade away effortlessly without the self coming and making the effort to change?
Adonis: The self when mad says, 'Well, I shouldn’t be mad.' Thinking there is an aspect of itself that is not the madness. However, it does not realize it is the entire entity that is madness. The whole being is mad without a single aspect free of it. Being divided, thinking one part is mad and another part is not mad, it creates the illusion that it can effect a change.
Now, the change it seeks is the continuity of madness in disguise. The self that is now in a state of madness thinks there is a part of itself that is not mad. This is the falsity of the self, investing in continuity. Now if we push the fact that we are mad or angry to the side, what is the part of us pushing it to the side? The self is a movement of ignorance born out of not facing life, 'as is.' So whenever you become angry, do not suppress it, justify or objectify it. Just let it be and simply experience it fully so that it will dissolve completely. Then it does not sink into the unconscious, tainting your life in the present.
Question: Does quietude prevent the creation of self-imagery and the suppression of certain emotions? I noticed that whenever my mind is quiet I become very sensitive to my emotions and my surrounding, why is that?
Adonis: When you enter quietude and stillness, you may discover that you become sensitive to everything and everyone. The nerves may feel like they are standing on end and highly sensitive to the slightest thing. Silence and sensitivity is the doorway that leads towards psychic powers. (Clairvoyance, clairsentience, telepathy, etc…) The most important thing is to understand what you are. It is the discovery of the Truth that is paramount. If you focus on awakening these psychic powers, you may lose sight of the real goal, which is to discover what Truth is.
Now, in our everyday relations with others, we may have an image of them as well as ourselves. That image that you have of another prevents you from seeing them, just the same as the image you have of yourself, prevents you from seeing who you are.
At times, while in the process of discovering yourself, many issues that may be buried in the hidden corners of the unconsciousness may begin to surface. These things come up because they need to be faced, honestly. Let them arise and simply watch the interior and exterior of your being without conscious interference.
As you begin to penetrate the realities of your life, some issues may feel unbearable. You may suddenly be overcome with feelings you thought were long gone. It is just the unconscious coughing up its storage. You may even cry or laugh for no particular reason; this is just penetration of the unconsciousness releasing suppressed and repressed thoughts, feelings, emotions and fears. All this must be transcended until the whole head becomes completely still, empty and quiet.
Question: Yesterday I was reading a book on the science of mind, but still after so many years, I still do not really understand. Why is it I do not understand spirituality?
Adonis: Perhaps, you need to throw away the book and simply live life to the fullest. (Do not throw away the book if you do not want to!) What I mean is, have the full understanding that words of another, even my own, can never awaken you. Do not try to accumulate knowledge with the intent that it will free you. Only through self-knowledge will you discover the essence of life. Actually, it is our attachment to knowledge that is clouding the door to the unknown.
Question: Can you tell me of any of your personal spiritual experiences?
Adonis: The other day when I was talking to an old friend, that sacredness came without warning, without provocation. This intense blessing pouring into my presence is beauty, love, joy. I asked the woman that I was speaking with did she feel that presence and she said, 'Yes, I feel it completely.' Then she says, 'So, is this what you have been trying to tell me about for so many years?' I said, yes, as my whole being became strangely still and tranquil.
At times, it seems a heavy burden to bear. I have a secret, I want to share it, and there is no one to understand. This means, I must find the right expression to point this out to the whole world. Seriously, whenever someone actually begins to understand me, I could feel it. So many people will pretend they understand, but I can feel the difference. Superficiality will not lead you to the door. The woman whom I was speaking with was always interested in spirituality but as she says, she could never experience anything genuine. She has always been very honest about that. She goes to church everyday and she feels that she does not understand anything beyond the physical plane. Many years ago, when my awakening took place, they all rejected me as a heathen, pagan and you know the rest. Now, most people whom I have spoken to for the past few years, come to me saying, 'I do not fully understand what you are saying but I can feel the truth of it, now.' Therefore, I say, just function from where you are. Do not accept or reject what I say, simply work on your own understanding.
How did this awaken within me? I do not know if that is a right question. From this point of view, this just isn’t put correctly. Nonetheless, some speculate that because most of my life I always indulged in oriental arts and therefore the Chinese and Japanese influence caused this to awaken within me. I wholeheartedly doubt this assertion all together. I was aware of this strange silence within me before my endeavors into oriental and dance arts. So, in spite of all this, there is this mysterious silence, a quietude beyond all causes that is forever with me. Nothing gave this to me. This is my say on all this seeking for a reason or cause of awakening.
Many people think I had a certain advantage because since my youth I lived a silent life. All my life I lived quietly and was always contemplating inwardly, unintentionally. I was never trained in any spiritual disciplines at all. I could feel this mysterious silence within and around me since the age of about seven. Therefore, some may say, of course having such a young predisposition towards spirituality, the reality of life would come to me without much venture. All I would say is that there is nothing special or different about another and me. All such speculations are unfounded. There is only this strange emptiness, this quietude within me, in which I cannot put into words. How can I explain to someone what it is like that my head rarely makes any noise?
Question: When you say let whatever happens in your psyche, just observe it so that there is no suppression, can you go deeper into that?
Adonis: It is to live without arresting or correcting ones state of being. That is how I burn every psychological hang-up. Within the purity of perception of every thought and feeling, there is no suppression and no repression. Then the mind is untouched by pretension in which one can be a real human being. When you are sad, be sad. Not trying to be other than what you are. When angry, be angry. However, if you try to push it away, what is the entity that is pushing away the sadness, anger, loneliness and fear. Only in effortlessness are we free of all the minds snares and entrapments.
Question: I want you to know that so far I am well satisfied with our dialogue, because you have put me to think and added to what I already know, I am very pleased and you are a brilliant man. I am overwhelmed and I am feeding my spiritual being. The other day you had mentioned that when we feel a slight pressure or discomfort in the head when involved in deep inquiry of spiritual matters, this pain in my brain takes place. Can you tell me why?
Adonis: Because certain aspects of the brain are being activated and put in order. The human brain, being put to sleep for so long by the constant movement of habit and repetition is now being changed when we give deep thought and inquiry. Thought is being put in its proper place instead of clouding and distorting our perception. The head is now being used holistically and it is being cleansed, made vacant so the sacred may come into your very being.
Only in emptiness is there the seeing clearly into life. The Sayings have come to burn you away so the sacred may come like a thief in the night, when you least expect it, when 'you' are not there. When your inner being is vacant only then can that sacred essence come to you. Simply understand that, when we have never used our whole brain, initially the transformation of the brain is being activated and that is all.
SPIRITUAL TEACHER ADONIS ALEXANDER
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