Spirituality Beyond The Intellect

Question:  When we end the self, isn't that a spiritual transaction, because we are living a dual life between the physical and the unseen?

Adonis:  Right now, let me scrutinize your question.  I want to dive deep into the whole statement as you listen with your whole being.  I think it gives some clarity to probe deep into the question without any presumptions of an answer of any kind.  If the question can be understood then the answer will surely come into being and from that answer perhaps we can go deeper and discover the ultimate solution. 

Out of insight, the self must discover its own fallacy and come to an end.  It may panic at first when it begins to realize what is to take place.  Then if you are deeply serious of discovering the truth, the self recedes into the understanding, 'While you live you must die.'

As long as there is a presumed perceiver within you, ones whole life is one of duality.  Duality means two, the perceiver and the perceived, which breeds division, conflict and struggle.  Now, as long as ‘you’ the perceiver is there, there will always be duality, conflict and turmoil within oneself and in the world.  It is for you to see the fact of all this.  You must see that this world is the reflection of oneself.

Question:  Now I am aware that the thinker is not an actual being of the spirit and spirituality, but a formulated entity created by ignorance.

Adonis:   You must see the non-reality of the divisive self, not intellectualize about it or rely on what I may say.  You must find out the truth of what I say and not accept or reject it.  Then what you discover becomes your own self-knowledge.  Mere verbalizing it will not bring the transformation.  The complete change that I speak of is the transformation that takes place when the self enters death. 

You must understand knowledge and the ending of knowledge before going into the unknown.  The self is the knower; it knows nothing of the unknown.  The knower and the unknown can never meet at any juncture of existence. So when you use the word spiritual, are you sure you know what that word means?  Look into it and find out for yourself its actual meaning.

Question:  To my level of understanding is the ending of ones self, the ending of the ego, the thinker a permanent thing?

Adonis:  One either understands or does not.  Understanding is not a gradual process of becoming.  Understanding is the clarity of perception in the present moment.  Either you see or you do not see.  There is no middle ground in all this.  

Do you ever notice how the self is constantly dividing itself?  It wants to continue.  It wants to live.  In the depths of ones being, the self underhandedly sense that it is a dead entity trapped in the past.  In each moment, out of ignorance and the thwarting of perception, we escape the truth of here and now.  Only when we look into the heart of life is there freedom in which words can not touch. 

To answer your question of ending the self, it implies every aspect of the you, the self, the me, the ego or any other name you wish to summon.   Your whole life must end without a trace of a separate self.  To go deeper into this is to see that the self is noise and the very essence of ones true being is silence.  Not the silence that the self tries to imagine.  

Nothing in life is permanent.  The seemingly permanency of the self is due to a lack of perception and mental speed which overlooks the transitioning of change.  So I tell you, when you actually see the falseness of something today, how can you fall into accepting it as a truth, tomorrow?  The reason you asked such a question is that you are still thinking in terms of beliefs.

Question:  When you say the self cannot enter the present moment, what do you mean?  I am unable to enter into the present moment without letting go of the self, the thinker.

Adonis:  The ‘I,’ cannot enter the sacred ground of the present moment.  The key needed to enter this door is death, which is the end of you.  Now for the other part of your question, the letting go of the self.  What part of you is going to let go of your self?  See the trick of the self; it wants to remain so it negotiates the idea of letting go of the thinker in which it is the thinker!  The thinker is the reflection of your thoughts, crystallized.  It does not exist independently of thought.  Without thought there is no thinker, no 'I,' no 'me,' no 'self.'  Then you discover you are nothing.  Then you discover you are nothing.  When you discover you are nothing, the real awakens within you and that is to discover 'thou art that.'

Question:  Is it alright if I continue asking you questions? 

Adonis:  Perhaps, inquiry is the ultimate way you will come to the threshold of the door, which leads to immortality.  It is a good thing that we question everything without leaving a single stone unturned.  To question me is to knock and if you keep knocking you will push me into a corner in which I must answer any and all your questions.  I have no choice.  So ask without censorship whatever comes to mind.

Question:  What is silence and why do you tell us its so importance?

Adonis:  Silence just is, when you are not consciously there and the mind is perfectly still without movement.  Verbally, another cannot tell you what silence is.  You must awaken to silence effortlessly when the mind sees the futility of being trapped in noise and chaos.  Silence comes when you pay full attention to your internal and external life.  Then that stillness comes when the subjective self, ends.  

The noise of the mind comes into being because of a lack of perception.  The noise within you clouds the seeing of life in its pristinity.  No one can tell you what quietude is, that would only lead to abstraction.  The sacredness of silence comes into being when the restlessness of the self, vanquish.

Now, after listening, questioning and probing within yourself of all that we have been speaking of, perhaps you may discover certain quietude within.  A deep abiding stillness that comes without any effort or persuasion.  There may be, if you are completely tranquil and alert, a certain watchfulness that is free of all discriminations, oppositions and conclusions.  In this watchfulness, there is this living witnessing of all things, within and around you.  Within your very being, that witnessing flows without any deliberation or conscious interference.  In this freedom of perception, there is the blossoming of that sacred life in which all things spring forth, effortlessly.

Now, our discussion is ending as it is getting rather late and we have been going deeply into this for some time.  To probe within ourselves at such intrinsic depths surely we have penetrated the very heart of our being, naturally.

Question:  Thank you sir for your insights.  I am deeply touched and forever moved by your words of wisdom.  Unfortunately, it is getting late and so I have only one more question before you leave.  Do you ever think about your inevitable death, your physical mortality which most of us are frightened of?

Adonis:  [Laughs]  Mortality?  Death?  What is death to me?  There is no one in this body that was born and therefore there is no one to die.  I am life!  I am immortality!  What business do I have with death, whatever that is!

Spiritual Epilogue

Now, in listening to these insights with your whole being you may have begun a deep inquiry within yourself that is yielding additional questions on your journey of self-discovery.  It is in the process of understanding oneself, which is an endless movement of perception into the facts of ones life; there is a certain understanding that comes into being, unexpectedly.  For it is only when we are quietly perceptive of life is there the fullness of understanding which brings liberation. 

In the realization of what you are, there is complete freedom, which is the end of all ignorance and fear.  If you are at all intelligent, this discourse is not an end but a beginning into the secrets of all life.  Probing deeper into these insights and the watchfulness from moment to moment to the whole aspect of ones existence, there is this awakening to that which is timeless. 

These words are not to become scripture in which you humble yourself and follow blindly.  Rather, they are like an open door which points into the abundance of life.  In fact, they are here for you to see your life and therefore be free, whole and creative.   When you become your own teacher and awaken the sacred life within, you may have no need of these insights or any other.  Then you become the master of your own life in which you shine in the world like a beautiful flower that can never wither. 

A blossoming flower in spring,

This joy that truth brings,

In perfect stillness, I sing.

Here and now, I am free,

Like a leaf falling from a tree,

This silence consumes me.

Within this living blaze, it seems,

This immortal essence gleams,

A brilliance beyond all ones dreams.