spiritual dialogue
(Insights of Adonis)
Question: You have made me understand so much about my self. Everything is very clear and very well explained. When you say the ending of 'me' is the beginning of immortal life, do you mean the ending of the ego is the beginning of the spiritual life?
I want to understand you and your Sayings. When you say the self must see its own limitation and there is its end, do you mean the ego ends and the immortality comes into being?
I like to ask questions, so excuse me. That is how I become wiser. Also, please explain a little more of what you mean when you say, 'When there is love, the self is not there.' Why is the entire world searching for God in vain?
Adonis: Our mental content, which clouds our perception, prevents the awakening of intelligence. As long as our consciousness is clouded and consumed by thoughts, how can we love? Love transcends thought, and self-centeredness. Love can only come into being when you, the ‘self’ is not present.
When you are deeply interested in something in which you feel great passion, do you notice how you become completely quiet. You want to be still. Now to understand this, is to realize that I am not speaking to the conscious self or thinker, which can never understand. When I speak, it is to that which is beyond thought and the conscious entity that thinks it is listening. It is to that all-seeing perception which can never be asleep that I speak. That which is the sacred witness within us all.
Now in the idea that you want to seek God, realize that it is a false and hopeless desire. The seeker as thought, as the thinker, can never reach the unknown. The thinker is of the known. This means, if you are using the self as the tool to discover God, you are already lost at the very beginning. The beginning is the end and the end is the beginning. Therefore, if the beginning is false, in the end you will never discover the Truth.
Be empty my friend. To be empty, to be vacant is paramount. When at once you are empty, all will be clear. For me, this emptiness is a fact. There is no one in this body, no thinker. Do not try to think about this emptiness in me. The I-self cannot grasp the immeasurable, but it erroneously tries. The measurable and the sacred can not meet at any time or at any point. Realize, the ending of 'you' is the beginning of the sacredness that comes when you are not there. When your whole being is vacant, the sacredness enters. That fulfillment cannot come when you are occupied. It is like a traveler in search of a hotel. Without vacancy, how can he find rest? As long as you are restless and occupied by thoughts, feelings, beliefs, ideas and fear, the realization cannot enter. Be vacant and then see whether the Unnameable, comes.
Question: When we end the self, isn't that a spiritual transaction, because we are living a dual life between the physical and the unseen?
Adonis: Right now, let me scrutinize your question. I want to dive deep into the whole statement as you listen with your whole being. I think it gives some clarity to probe deep into the question without any presumptions of an answer of any kind. If the question can be understood then the answer will surely come into being and from that answer perhaps we can go deeper and discover the ultimate solution.
Out of insight, the self must discover its own fallacy and come to an end. It may panic at first when it begins to realize what is to take place. Then if you are deeply serious of discovering the truth, the self recedes into the understanding, 'While you live you must die.'
As long as there is a presumed perceiver within you, ones whole life is one of duality. Duality means two, the perceiver and the perceived, which breeds division, conflict and struggle. Now, as long as 'you' the perceiver is there, there will always be duality, conflict and turmoil within oneself and in the world. It is for you to see the fact of all this. You must see that this world is the reflection of oneself.
Question: Now I am aware that the thinker is not an actual being of the spirit and spirituality, but a formulated entity created by ignorance.
Adonis: You must see the nonreality of the divisive self, not intellectualize about it or rely on what I may say. You must find out the truth of what I say and not accept or reject it. Then what you discover becomes your own self-knowledge. Mere verbalizing it will not bring the transformation. The complete change that I speak of is the transformation that takes place when the self enters death.
You must understand knowledge and the ending of knowledge before going into the unknown. The self is the knower, it knows nothing of the unknown. The knower and the unknown can never meet at any juncture of existence. So when you use the word spiritual, are you sure you know what that word means? Look into it and find out for yourself its actual meaning.
Question: To my level of understanding is the ending of ones self, the ending of the ego, the thinker a permanent thing?
Adonis: One either understands or does not. Understanding is not a gradual process of becoming. Understanding is the clarity of perception in the present moment. Either you see or you do not see. There is no middle ground in all this.
Do you ever notice how the self is constantly dividing itself? It wants to continue. It wants to live. In the depths of ones being, the self underhandedly sense that it is a dead entity trapped in the past. In each moment, out of ignorance and the thwarting of perception, we escape the truth of here and now. Only when we look into the heart of life is there freedom in which words can not touch.
To answer your question of ending the self, it implies every aspect of the you, the self, the me, the ego or any other name you wish to summon. Your whole life must end without a trace of a separate self. To go deeper into this is to see that the self is noise and the very essence of ones true being is silence. Not the silence that the self tries to imagine.
Nothing in life is permanent. The seemingly permanency of the self is due to a lack of perception and mental speed which overlooks the transitioning of change. So I tell you, when you actually see the falseness of something today, how can you fall into accepting it as a truth, tomorrow? The reason you asked such a question is that you are still thinking in terms of beliefs.
Spiritual Awakening That Transcends This Life
Question: When you say the self cannot enter the present moment, what do you mean? I am unable to enter into the present moment without letting go of the self, the thinker.
Adonis: The 'I,' cannot enter the sacred ground of the present moment. The key needed to enter this door is death, which is the end of you. Now for the other part of your question, the letting go of the self. What part of you is going to let go of your self? See the trick of the self, it wants to remain so it negotiates the idea of letting go of the thinker in which it is the thinker! The thinker is the reflection of your thoughts, crystallized. It does not exist independently of thought. Without thought there is no thinker, no 'I,' no 'me,' no 'self.' Spiritually, you discover you are nothing. When you discover you are nothing, the Real awakens within you and that is to discover 'thou art that.'
ADONIS ALEXANDER
(Author of, Secret Sayings Of Adonis)
